William A. Grinstead

December 26, 1942 ‒ December 22, 2020

Mount Vernon, Ohio

A REMEMBERANCE

Our Love Story Begins

By Jenny

 

One September day in 1976, I drove into Bellingham, Washington from Ohio to begin graduate school at Western Washington University.  Unbeknownst to me, when I stopped the car on State Street, Bill was across the street staring at me, and the beige Gremlin I was driving.  He said to his sister, Charmie, “I wonder who that girl is. I’d sure like to meet her.”   Since I was looking for an apartment, I got the local paper, had lunch and a beer, and called a number.  I went to the address.  My Bill later told me he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the beige Gremlin coming up the street to see about the apartment he had for rent.  He ran inside and started vacuuming the carpet until he heard the knock at the door.  The rest is our blessed and special 43-year history together.

Jenny and Bill married in Mt. Vernon, Ohio in 1977, and returned to live next door to Bill’s dear mother for 8 years in Bellingham.  They had two children, Rachel and Luke, and took many adventurous road trips to Ohio to see Jenny’s family almost every summer, from wherever they lived. They also drove down to California on weekends and sometimes all the way around the country, just for kicks.  Bill didn’t like to fly and didn’t sleep well, so they often left in the early evening and drove through the night.   He loved driving while Jenny and the kids slept as he listened to music and thought of new stories to tell and write.  He loved music and all the great songs of the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s.  Elvis, Billy Swan, Jerry Jeff Walker, Credence Clearwater Revival, Patsy Cline, Emmy Lou Harris and Bill Withers, to name a few.  He always remembered who sang what and when, and knew most of the lyrics by heart.

In 1984, Jenny got a job in McMinnville, Oregon and off they went on a new adventure. Bill began building houses in the area and Rachel started kindergarten. Later on, so did Luke.  Jenny and Bill were in a book club for a few years and together they explored all kinds of topics, universes and ways to have fun that occasionally had something to do with the book they were reading.  Bill built a second house for the family just down the street from the duplex they had rented for 5 years just outside of town in a subdivision called Kingwood.

By 1995, Bill was very tired of building in the cold Northwest rain and Jenny started looking for speech therapy jobs somewhere warm.  Earlier, the kids had had a grand adventure in New Mexico with Uncle Chris and Aunt Marion, telling stories of sun and sage. Jenny and Bill decided to move to Carlsbad.  They had lots of help from Uncle Dave, Aunt Ginny and cousin Steve on their biggest move yet.  Once there, Bill built a third home for his family on top of a desert hill overlooking Carlsbad.  Bill and Jenny loved the blue skies, the oven heat, and the desert sunrises and sunsets on both sides of the house.  He designed and built houses and remodels in New Mexico for 20 years for many friends and clients.  Luke worked with his dad for several years before he went to Las Cruces for college.  Bill and Jenny found lifelong friends in their pinochle club, welcomed many family and friends to their bright and comfortable home and enjoyed each other more than ever.  Dancing, driving and laughing together the whole time.

Bill “retired” around 2011 but continued working for several years until health issues began to creep onto the scene. When Jenny retired in 2015, Bill agreed to move back to Mount Vernon, her hometown, to be with her family and closer to Rachel and family.  Once back in Ohio, Bill and Jenny continued to travel, driving to Massachusetts, Maine, Virginia and flying back to New Mexico to see family and friends as often as they could and health would allow.  They also received many visitors in Mt. Vernon in their home with the kids and grandkids, family and friends filling the house with noise, too many used towels and so much laughter.  For Bill and Jenny it was the stuff of dreams.

 

Eulogy

By Billy Grinstead

August, 2003

Old lovers were asked to offer testament

To hands held and lips caressed

Over time

Doddering, it was assumed prompting was needed

To find words appropriate and glorious

Enough

Passion?  Oh yes, with every moment precious

Every separation endless from deprivation

Of the source

Light that filled the darkness

Sounds to nurture, silence to sweeten

The incarnation

But also chill, arm’s length chill

Shivering with the warmth in view but unreachable

For hours, for days

And anger at the seeming discrepancy in depth of love

One for the other as viewed through the distortion

Of need, of hurt

Love? A strange word but yes, willing to fall

That the other might stand, walk, or run

Away

Tenderness to enfold, encircle bouts of smallness

With reciprocal bursts of courage and largess

For survival

But also indifference when indifference could hurt

Using the other’s need inappropriately, cruelly

To lash out

Indifference as violence when both adored peace

When both revered compassion and empathy for all

And for one another

Stimulation? Oh yes, endless fascination

With bright thoughts that kindled imagination

For growth

Intoxication from absorption of sweet brew

Ever changing concoction that tickled the buds

Of life

But also boredom, too much knowing

Till comfort covered regard with a smothering

Coziness

Smooth mechanics disguised their own roots

Left happiness intact but uncherished

For days, for weeks, for months

Still, unfailingly, and just in time

Eyes peeked out of the protective cocoon

To see

Something changed, something surprising

Something quirky, or indescribably

Fine

Family? The greatest gift of all

Not one wasted moment, far too little time

To share

The greatest crime of mortality, the richest claim on

Forever

Purpose, worth, without the need to brand

Or claim

Fine responses, with proper editing, we surely have

Enough real life, the proper touch of sentiment

To record

But as I captured the tribute for history

And typed it skillfully on waiting screen

Lovers disagreed

“You want a record, you want a testament?

Then say this, say our life together was

Funner ’n heck.”

 

 

 

William A. Grinstead, 77, passed away early on Tuesday morning, December 22, 2020, at his home in Mount Vernon, surrounded by his loving wife and children.  He fought a long courageous battle that started with a minor stroke while working on a roof in Carlsbad. Years later he had heart surgery, dialysis, renal failure, amputations, and a prosthetic leg, along with many other unlucky and uncomfortable health events occurring over the last 10 years.  Through it all he worked hard every single day to feel better, changing his diet, taking his insulin, staying on antibiotics, committing to months at the hyperbaric chamber, various surgeries and regular PT/OT sessions to walk again after he lost his right leg just below the knee.  He worked hard until the very, very end.

Bill was born on December 26, 1942 in Bellingham, Washington to the late Ellis Baker (Johnny) and Rachel May (Bingham) Grinstead.  Bill is survived by his wife, Jennifer (Herald) Grinstead; his daughter, Rachel (Warren) Grinstead-Babson of Gloucester, Massachusetts; his son, Luke (Kinsey Cooper) Grinstead of Albuquerque, New Mexico; and his grandchildren, Winston Ellis Baker Babson, and Cedarmae Babson.

Bill was the sixth of eight children and was preceded in death by his sister, Charmie (and Bud) Hewett of Bellingham; brothers, David Grinstead of Bellingham; Jim Grinstead of Bellingham; Bob Grinstead of Roswell, Georgia; Ray Grinstead of Bellingham; and sister, Ginny (and Rolly) Armstrong of Cathlamet, Washington.  He is survived by his brother, Ed (Brenda) Grinstead of Wesley Chapel, Florida; and his sister-in-laws, Nita (Dave), June (Jim), Barbara (Bob), and Shirley (Ray), as well as numerous cousins, nieces and nephews.

Bill often seemed a quiet man, but that was until you got to talk to him alone or in a small group of favorite people.  He loved to talk.  He would talk about any topic; religion, politics, music, sports, movies, social justice and usually knew the history, liner notes and stats better than most. He was a student of life and from the time he was a child, he read constantly and remembered everything he read.  He was valedictorian of his graduating class at Bellingham High School in 1960.  Bill received a full scholarship to Harvard but it didn’t include room and board. Since his family couldn’t afford that expense, he went to the University of Washington for two years and then worked for Boeing as a draftsman.  He moved to California in the early 60’s, where he continued his education switching from Engineering to Chemistry at California State in Fullerton.  He also worked at Royal Aluminum as an extrusion draftsman in Los Angeles during that time.  Over the course of his years there, he owned two Corvettes (1953, 1957) and took rides on his motorcycle along the coast and into the country, loving every moment in the sun.

He also enlisted in the National Guard as a conscientious objector after receiving his selective service card.  He was stationed at Fort Polk in Louisiana with a group of men from Watts and had many stories to tell about that time, stories of events that resulted in his being discharged and heading back to work in California.

He moved to Bellingham about 1970 to be with his mother after his father died.  After he moved back he helped his brothers, Ray and Ed, build a home next door to his mom’s house.  That was the beginning of his career as a homebuilder and designer for the rest of his working life.  It was also the beginning of his writing career, which included poetry, short stories, letters to the editor and self-publishing eight books.

Bill was a poet, writer, pacifist, philosopher and avid reader.  He loved a good discussion and was a great listener. He was a beloved uncle to many of his nieces and nephews, cousins, in-laws and extended family and friends. Because of this, he will be remembered as a devoted and loving husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, and friend, a talented writer, builder, a man of principles and a defender of the marginalized.

 

“He’s nice, and he helped me with my math problems.  He also turned the TV on for me whenever I wanted,” grandson, Winston, age 8 said.  “I loved playing with Grampy and snuggling him,”         Cedarmae, age 4, said of her grandfather.

 

Remembering Dad

By Rachel

 

Dad’s poetry sprung out of a philosopher’s heart who saw the wrongs in the world and wanted to help, to say things beautifully and true so that people couldn’t help but listen and want to do good.  He never cared much about money and thought it was demeaning to ask for more of it.  He worked hard because he respected hard workers.  He was more impressed with a man he met that could pick massive amounts of beans in a day than anyone he ever met with money.  It was never about stuff or things, Dad was always light enough to travel.  Always curious about what was over the next rise in the road and in a hurry to get halfway there.  Dad would dunk his head in any body of water that we passed, especially if it was moving quickly over rocks.

 

How do you write about someone who made you whole?  How do you examine those pieces that he placed with loving care through kind words, an open mind and a loving heart?  How do you separate those qualities into something that you can tell people about, without falling apart?

 

He was our center and the person I always wanted to talk to, the person that helped make it ever better and the person that loved me the most.  I’ve no choice but to go forward with the theory that he is still here, listening to my children say lovely, rascally things and getting a kick out of it.  Happily watching me, my mom and brother, supporting our every move and at the end of the night saying, “Goodnight, kiddo.  See you in the morning.”  We will miss him forever.

 

 

Our Glass Project

By Luke

 

Of all the lenses I see the world

I see it best through the ones you helped me build

They click into place with a familiar precision that

Only patience could have constructed

The glass is specially tempered with compassion

It was important to manufacture it this way

The refraction helps me see some honesty

Some sense from this living conundrum

The blues and reds can both be warm

Because you’ve shown me how to calculate

The proper wavelength

Their frame is strong but delicate

Nothing crude, nothing contrived

Thought and purpose hold these lenses in place

And our hands toiled to make it this way together

It binds our vision and maintains our focus

Its strength comes from our years of connection

An alloy of trusted mettle

Blended

Because you’ve shown me how to calculate

The proper mixture

Let’s not forget the plans required to produce

Such an essential device

Drawn and redrawn and finally presented

The idea was to see the scary things out there

Through a filter of understanding

Or at the least forgiveness

And to us the graphite lines

On blue grid paper

Were obvious and comforting

Because you’ve shown me how to calculate

The proper dimensions

I say proper not perfect

Because perfect is unnecessary

And perfection requires another set of lenses entirely

Ours are dependable, and crucial

For us to see clearly, the life we’ve shared

For us to see clearly, our similarities

Our differences

And I love those both unrepentantly

Because you’ve shown me how to calculate

The proper dimension, mixture, and wavelength

To see the world like you do

 

A Day at the Beach

By Rachie Pachie

“Hard work and perseverance”

he said with a smile

smile and a twinkle

luck and love on his mind

We’d gone to the beach to sit in the northwest sun with our jackets and jeans.

Sat on a blanket and listened to the “never ending new beginnings” as the sand dripped though our finger tips and matchbox cars raced over the peaks,

propelled by the boy.

An idea

a dad idea

Dig a deep hole

hop up and wander a bit

pretend to forget about the hole

trip in it

fall down.

We loved it.

When asked from behind the camera,

on that very same beach

on that very same day

how he’d gotten where he was in life,

“Hard work and perseverance” he said.

 

No services will be held during the COVID era at this time.  The family will hold a celebration of his life hopefully later this year.

 

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be given to your local food bank, Habitat for Humanity, or Doctors without Borders.

 

The Dowds-Snyder Funeral Home is honored to serve the family of William A. Grinstead.

  • A beautiful slideshow of photos and memories of Bill’s life and family. The woodworking at the beginning and end was so fitting. Love and prayers, Doug and Linda

  • Jenny & family

    Our sincerest condolence to you over the passing of your beloved husband and father, Bill. May the Lord grant him Eternal Rest.
    James & Nora Blubaugh

  • Dear Jenny & Families
    We remember you all in prayer in the loss of Bill.
    Lord bless each of you with His comfort and peace.

  • Jenny, I was so sorry to hear of Bill’s death. Please know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Sincerely, Sue and Terry Steinmetz

  • Jenny, I pray you will find solace in the love of Our Lord as He enfolds your family each and every day. You were so blessed when He sent both of you toward each other. Prayers for your time of healing.

  • You never know when a rare gem is going to show up in your life. Bill was certainly one of those for me. My eyes are filled with tears as I remember the times we shared together.

    Going from “me to we” is one of the joys of life. I am most thankful out paths crossed.

  • Jenny, Rachael, and Luke-

    What a beautiful tribute for such a wonderful husband, father, grandfather, friend.

    Bill was such a kind and thoughtful man. You all did such a touching way of capturing who he was . The love you poured out into making this is evident of the kind of person he was and he lives on through you all.

  • Such a beautiful video and tribute to a wonderful man. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. What a treasure your love as a family will always be. My love and thoughts to all of you.
    Amy Reidel and Rick Cusumano (St. Louis peeps. Rachel’s friends from New Mex…)

  • Dear Jenny,

    What a remarkable man and what a beautiful family. The love you’ve shared gives light and warmth to all of us.

    With appreciation and sympathy,

    Tom & Helen Allerding

  • Condolences and Special Memories

    Sign our virtual guest book and help celebrate William A. 's life

    14 Condolences on “William A. Grinstead

    Leave a Condolence

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *